The Game Show of Israeli Politics

Published on The Daily Beast

In a surprise development, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas were invited to compete as a new team in the Israeli version of the reality game show, The Amazing Race (Merutz L’Milyon). As fans know, pairs of contestants are given absurd missions which involve publicly humiliating themselves or causing passersby to behave in ways that are entirely irrational.

While other players were tasked with convincing complete strangers in Las Vegas to marry in a legally binding wedding, the two political leaders were given the assignment of trying to reach an agreement through negotiations neither one believes in. Like the other ill-matched newlyweds, Bibi and Mahmoud come from conflicting ethnic groups and orientations, but will take part in a formal ceremony, complete with fanfare and entourage, while sniggering brazenly to show they don’t mean a thing of what they say. Secretary of State John Kerry is doing his best to keep a straight face.

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Ehad Neged Meah Hamishim (One Against a Hundred Fifty). Minister of Economy Naftali Bennett competed against 150 electors in the rarely deployed category—Chief Rabbi for a Decade. That old show biz adage—he who competes against the sons of the producers is lost, especially the sons of former chief rabbis—has never rang more true. Hoping that his hi-tech marketing wiles will not go for naught, Bennett will now try to torpedo the prize ceremony.

Yair Lapid, Naftali Bennet, Yuval Steinitz, Yehuda Weinstein and Bibi Netanyahu found time to compete on The Weakest Link, the astonishingly low tech but cruel British hit which pioneered the notion of inviting participants to turn on one another in order to determine who should be kicked out of the game. This month, all rounds were devoted to the topic of Israel’s budget. In a startling development, contestants allowed Yair Lapid both to answer every single question and to get them all wrong. Little doubt who’s up next for elimination. Our game show insider spotted Shelly Yachimovich desperately trying to reach the stage but repeatedly disappearing through trapped doors in the floor.

And in brief… for the first time, the U.S. and European producers of Sanctions for Settlements adopted different rules; Americans will continue with dollars for denial while the Continent opted for the new selective boycott.

No new contestants materialized for Catch That Infiltrator so the popular teams of border bullies have been reassigned to Moveable Goods, the thrice-delayed reality series about relocating entire Bedouin villages.

Also, the long running fan favorite , the Ethiopian Immigration, was “irrevocably” canceled… for the fourth time.

Stay tuned…

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